Dad still manages to teach

Posted on December 11, 2007 in Senior living journey by DM

This past week was a difficult one. My brother returned to Wisconsin last Monday, after having come down for a few days to help with Dad’s health issues. On Wednesday, Dad was moved from the hospital to a care center/nursing home for physical therapy and rehab. He was doing well there, and yesterday I moved him back home just in time to be snowed/iced in.

On the day of his move-in at the care center, I felt awful for him - I know how he feels about nursing homes, and I wanted him to understand that his stay was necessary, but temporary. I know I was not the only one reinforcing that message to him in the days leading up to the move. I drove him there myself - there was no need for an ambulance or the expense of a transport service. He is staying in the same facility where my grandmother went for rehab after a fall and, eventually, to live permanently. It is literally six blocks from my house, which makes it really convenient for visits and errands.

We had not been in the facility since the last time we all visited Grandma right before she passed away, about four years ago. As we walked in, I noticed immediately that the hallways were over-crowded with people in wheelchairs. Some of them were “parked,” while others were wheeling themselves (with varying degrees of success) down the hallway. I felt my spirits sinking lower and lower - my dad does not belong here, I kept thinking. He walks unassisted, his mind is sharp, he does not need to be here. In short, I had to keep reminding myself that this is temporary - that he’s here for rehab, not to live, and that he will be going home - hopefully before Christmas.

What I also noticed was that the environment did not seem to be bothering my dad at all. He was cheerful, greeted everyone (staff and residents) in a pleasant and matter-of-fact sort of way, just like he would greet someone who was NOT in such a depressing situation, and even ran into someone he knew - an old friend who was visiting a resident family member. (I swear I can’t take him ANYWHERE that he doesn’t know someone - not even the nursing home!) Point being, even though our roles are beginning to reverse (child becoming caregiver), he still manages to teach me something now and then. I know he’s glad to be home, and I am continuing to work on finding him an assisted living arrangement.

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