10 Signs You’re Addicted to the Internet
You might be addicted to the Internet if…
…you catch yourself speaking the phrase “L-O-L” when someone says something funny to you in person.
…you keep an always-open browser window pointed to the Drudge Report so as not to miss the blinky siren of breaking news.
…you can name a few moonbats as well as a few wingnuts.
…you [...]
God’s most annoying creature, part 1
At first I was going to say, “the deer” - the deer must surely be God’s most annoying creature, for it does nothing to serve humanity and is really just a link in the food chain for the lesser life forms - all of which, if pressed, could most certainly find something else to eat [...]
A little late with the Christmas cheer…
Because the past month is such a blur, I know I missed participating in a “Christmas meme” that I first noticed over at Des Moines Girl’s blog, Des Moines 360. Hoping you’ll indulge me the opportunity, though late, to play along!
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper. Extra-special glittery/foily paper for Santa, please.
2. Tree - [...]
Stall etiquette not just for men
In light of the “men’s room etiquette” schooling we all received last week courtesy of Sen. Larry Craig, I thought a brief round-up of rules from the ladies’ perspective might be in order. Here are some unwritten guidelines you might not be aware of:
1. Courtesy flush - yes, gals use it too… it’s only proper [...]
More annoying Linguistic habits we should break
Another of my “linguistic habits” posts totalled some 32,346 words all on one topic (the movie “Dick”). So, I decided to shorten things up a bit. Here are a few more verbal short-cuts we should eliminate immediately from our daily discourse:
1. Use of the cliche, “as a rule of thumb.” This phrase originally referred to the “rule” (actually a British [...]
Sh*t Paper. No really.
From the in-house organ of a local print shop (see another classic print-shop tidbit here) comes the happy news that tree-free paper… long relegated to the realm of other plant materials like hemp, corn husks and banana peels (”Hey Cheech, does your Lillian Vernon catalog smell like weed?”)… is now being made of sheep dung. [...]
Chimps, tampons & Arianna Huffington
Now that Arianna Huffington has dismissed the plight of the Kurds as being irrelevant to any discussion about what we’ve accomplished in Iraq (”So what?” she rhetorically asked Bill O’Reilly when he reminded her that Saddam Hussein had persecuted and murdered Kurds prior to our arrival), it’s time to focus on truly meaningful issues. I’m [...]
*News in weird places
Okay, at work I sometimes have to buy printing for brochures, newsletters, logo doohickies, and stuff like that. What that ultimately means is that every commercial printer in Des Moines has me on their mailing list to receive
their “house organ” (ha!)… er, customer newsletter. So today instead of throwing one of these wastes of resources [...]
*And now the news…
I finally made good use of a mass-forwarded email someone sent me. It was full of interesting, but not inherently humorous facts, which I’ve turned into the following news update.
Dateline Sea World: Scientists have discovered that turtles can breathe through their butts. Sociologists point out that they’ve seen this phenomenon before, because while politicians can [...]
*A study to study studies
A technology report on CNN.com (“The liberal media empire at your fingertips”) says a new study has found that people who live by the cell phone (or pager, or other mobile personal communication equipment) find less life satisfaction because work and family issues tend to blur together. Dads taking work-related calls at home, moms taking [...]
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